dipsy slowly approached the microphone - taking great care not to trip over the many piles of wooden shoes that lay scattered across the front of the stage.
she gave a harumph and a huff and then, making one more queer noise in her throat - she began.
"everyone - please draw a little closer to the stage. I'm a little out of sorts today and i'd like to seeing a smiling face or two" she drawled in a silly whining amero-indian accent.

mistress fluff'n'hiss hastily and meaningfully caught the eye of dipsy and motioned towards the stage with a crooked boney finger.
sighing sweetly and noisily dipsy hummed and harred her way trudgingly towards the stage, dragging with her the remains of the bottle of frangipani jooce.

dipsy pullover was a tall rakishly thin badly bleached blond with a voice that would send tremors of pain down your spine. This earsplitting cacophony was veiled in velvet tones, bellowing tremendously out of tune. so out of tune in fact, that it from another melody entirely on it's own. dipsy only partook in fuid refreshment - viewing that any solid foods would block the reverberations of her ghastly howl. truly her voice had not improved in the slightest over the 24 years that she had been depriving herself of food, but simply become more hideous and monstrous by the hour. for her accompaniement she would boot up an elderly korg 2000 keyboard with automatic rhythm section. in the past she had had various seedy looking bearded men as her musical offsiders, that would usually run off the stage screaming after barely 10 minutes - the longest ever, lasting a paltry 12 minutes, possibly due to the fact that he had not voluntarily left the stage, but had passed out and had to be bodily carried off to an ambulance.
still, that was the way of the entertainment business